Is this my CALL?

everything seems to just turns out to be just wanting me to stay back in Kuching...things doesnt seems to looks like it allows me, or even wanting me to study over in West Malaysia...things just happen...just happen for me to ask my self conscience...should i just leave everything behind, ignoring what is happening now, what is going to happen, not wanting to know what is going to happen and just be the 'don care' type, leaving everything behind as if its of non of my concern and continue on with my studies happily over in WM? Can i get over with my own consience when i get to know that my parents are struggling back in Kuching and I am happily spending their money there? knowing that i might be able to do a difference here, lightening their burden, i am just asking myself, why not just study back at Segi? why must i go over to Inti? does Inti guarantee me a degree? i don think so...everything comes with hard work and struggle...nothing is free in this world...Just yesterday...seeing dad grinding cracks of the axle joints beneath the trailer bucket really catches me...how can an 60+ year old man jus possibly do such thing? isnt he tired? taking over from him and do the grinding, it really takes up a lot of energy...Now, if i am not around, i wont be able to realize such happenings... thinking back....why did i went to Riam, USM and end up still in Kuching? if i was the type of 'don care' type, i dont think i would have possibly quit USM just because of the reason, 'i dont know what the hell am i doin here in USM...' i will be still happily doin my com sc there, blindly i can say...as i dont know what is it all about...at the stake of my parents doing such things back in Kuching...haiz...somehow, my heart really get wrenched to see my dad being so exhausted....at such age...but i just don know how to tell him how i feel..before i speak, he will ard start blasting...i wont want that...just today, during gear shift training, an RM14,000 lesson was learnt by all of us...including me...DO NOT JUMP GEAR SHIFT....FOLLOW ACCORDINGLY...broken, exploded gearbox parts cost us RM14000...just because of prolonged practice of jumping gears...haiz...what can i say? nothing...We, at management level are not doin our part on spot checks....how can we blame others...personally, i really dont like people to point fingers only when things happen...really freaks me...how can such things happen?
On the road emergency drill, fire extinguisher training was done this morning after the usual monthly HSSE meeting....quite impressive i would say...everyone co-operated quite well...As it is, done under the hot sun, everyone was sweating as if it is raining...well, its part of work...thinking back, who is going to conduct all these if i am not around? my dad? or mum...haiz...really heart wrenching...my dad, should be enjoying his golden years by now...and yet....and mum? expect a lady to walk here and there under the hot sun with safety shoes and helmet? i dont think so even if its something feasible...
After all these, i was thinkin, IS THIS MY CALL? to stay back in Kuching? Still praying that the path of light will be shown by God...the Lord...